How to start love people more

There is no lack of tips on how to like others. It is enough to drive a request in the search line-and you risk driving in tons of information: research, entertaining and popular science articles, lists of specific steps and other guidelines to action. But perhaps the main secret is extremely simple: so that others are drawn to us, we ourselves should like people – and the more people, the better.

In any case, the researcher of behavior and author of the book “The Science of Communication. How to read emotions, understand and find a common language with people ”Vanessa Van Edwards. And what exactly does she advise? Each time, leaving the house, put a “remark” for yourself: you should like as many people as possible.

The idea may sound so -so, but it even works very much. We are used to believing that relations for the most part are not amenable to our control: the other either causes a response in us or not. But often we ourselves do not understand what we influence a lot – or we can influence. And if you make at least slight efforts, it turns out that it is not so difficult to love people. And then we will open doors to the world of new acquaintances, relationships – friendly and romantic – and other social ties.

Talk about the strengths of others

Meeting with new people, many of us are hung up on what they are going to say and miss the most effective way to build a dialogue. Start the conversation about the strong qualities of the interlocutor – and the conversation will go like clockwork.

Be curious. Instead of the standard “what you are doing”, ask: “If you didn’t have to be here, in this evening, what would you do?»Such questions will allow your interlocutor to start talking about your interests and hobbies.

Think about the relationship

We learn introspection by keeping a diary or just thinking about our own thoughts, feelings and experience in order to calculate our behavioral patterns. The same applies to our social awareness. After talking with people, ask yourself a few questions. How the conversation went? What did you know? What did you like in the interlocutors? You listened more or spoke more? Whether the others interrupted? Whether self -control lost? Did you try to treat the interlocutors as incredible as possible?

Just let others understand that you like them

In the book “Psychology influence”, Robert Chaldini explores the story of the success of Joe Girard, who entered the Guinness Book of Records as the most successful car seller, and then became a motivational speaker and coach. Girard noticed and actively used the fact that, if you show another how much you like it, in nine out of ten cases the interlocutor will reciprocate.

Every month, Girard wrote to each of his clients by hand: he asked about how things were going on, about children – calling everyone by name. So he made it clear to clients that they are important to him.

Let others understand how important friendship with them is for you. Contact what is important to themselves. Meet them with like -minded people. Something can hardly contribute to the construction of long-term relationships.

You do not have to love everyone in a row – nor everyone must love you. But if you want to lead a full sense of life and build a successful career, you need to learn how to like others. And to do this is much easier if you yourself find the reasons to love them.

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